Freehold Fred
03-28-2006, 02:01 AM
I've seen them before, but here goes anyway...
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TEN things to Ponder:
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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TEN things to Ponder:
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.