mommalina
08-04-2006, 10:25 AM
Mid Term exam:
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues,
via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands
and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know
the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
the rate at which They are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will never leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different Religions that exist
in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader
Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it
will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last
night and again this morning, then number 2 must
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence
of a divine being, which explains why Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues,
via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands
and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know
the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
the rate at which They are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will never leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different Religions that exist
in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader
Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it
will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last
night and again this morning, then number 2 must
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence
of a divine being, which explains why Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"