Winning Joke from LaughLab.co.uk

[RAK]

"I like the joke as it makes people feel better, because it reminds them that there is always someone out there who is doing something more stupid than themselves."
Yes, Gurpal(may I call you Gurp?), but they all don't neccessarilly live here in New Jersey. Once again, no respect at all.:frown:
I was riding on Amtrack through Colorado and met a man From Vancouver,B.C. and in talking, I mentioned that I was from New Jersey. He replied, "Oh, that's a suburb of New York, isn't it?" :eek: Even our football teams pretend they are from somewhere else. Hey, if we're so stupid, why do we charge $3.00 to get out? Think about it.:D From the only state with a hotel in the shape of an elephant, GREETINGS FROM NEW JERSEY! (Next Exit)

[dbarrow]

If you don't know anything about hunting season in NJ, that, in all truth of the matter, is possibly a true story!

Open week of deer season every year usually has at least two or three instances of hunters shooting each other.
Yes, on some of the few remaining farms in the "Garden State" farmers do actually spray paint their cows blaze orange COW during deer season and people put orange vests on dogs.

More deer are killed by cars each year than during hunting season. Your chances of getting killed hitting a deer with your car are higher than getting killed hunting them. We call them road rats. They even move into suburbia... I have a herd of 12 or so in my backyard along with a flock of turkeys.

Bless Fish&Game for re-introducing bears.
Now that they have adapted well to suburbia, it is highly likely to encounter one sleeping in your garage or digging through your trash. Can't wait until they move into the neighborhood.

Son and I belong to a range at Ft.Dix and go shooting weekly. It's a good thing you can only shoot in one direction on the range as some of the "marksmen" I see there couldn't hit the wall of a barn standing inside it.
Some have to be (less than politely) reminded of safety rules by the rangemasters and other shooters on a routine basis. A few have been so dumb/unsafe that have been asked to leave.

Charge to get out...
Yes! The only way out of the state are bridges and tunnels (to NYC) and it is the only state where you have to pay to leave. (that is, if you have the spare change after paying your taxes)

No, we are not a suburb of New York. We are a suburb of New York and Philadelphia.
No, all of NJ does not smell like the oil refinery off the NJ Turnpike north of Newark.
No, people don't talk like the Sopranos except in Bayonne and points north.
The native south Jersey "Piney" and "Cricker" population has been largely displaced by the housing boom and suburbia.

[compusimple]

you also have to pay to leave Nj to go to phila.

Elliott

[dbarrow]

Bambi is not cute and cuddly!
Deer can be either extremely smart, spotting a shotgun barrel at 1000yds and running away, or the dumbest creature on earth! To call them rats is over stating their intelligence.

Wreck we responded to a month or so ago, residential area, car hits deer, deer goes through windshield and lands in lap of female passenger, deer kicks the living crap out of her and she is messed up big time, looks like somebody took a chainsaw to her. Driver veers off road hits tree, DOA. Deer still kicking in backseat and had to be shot in the car before they could rip it apart to pry the girl out.
This is just one of numerous deer incidents I have witnessed. Most resulted in dead deer and dead people.

Whacked one with the medic truck back in the spring at 70mph. Ford Expeditions are pretty tough and the bumper caught him just right leaving only a minor dent. Sailed him down the highway like a punt. I wasn't as worried about the deer much as the State Police car barreling up my butt who had to stand on the brakes to avoid me. Scared the crap out of the trooper! He was still shaking when we got to the call.

Idiot deer in the back yard stuck its head through the fence to eat my flowers and got stuck. Wife went out and pushed it back through. Told her never do that again as you can't trust them not to kick you with those sharp hooves. A buck in rut WILL charge you!
Had a yearling climb the steps onto the back deck and stand there looking in the kitchen window. Dumb thing couldn't figure out how to get back down the steps and eventually leaped over the railing... better than crashing through the window which they are prone to do.
I've seen the results of one crashing into a house and store through windows. You want to talk about a bloody totally trashed mess! They can demolish the inside of a house in minutes!

After they cut "carcass removal" from the budget, the roadsides are routinely littered with bloated, rotting deer remains. Even the buzzards can't keep up. In the fall rut, there are stretches of highway so littered with dead deer you have to roll your windows up to avoid the stench.

I've litterally had to come to a dead stop on some roads blocked with herds of 50 or more deer standing in the middle of the road. You can blow the horn, siren, flash the lights and the stupid things stand there looking at you as you gently inch forward brushing them aside with the bumper. We even had one stick his head in through the open window!

Venison is really tasty when cooked right!
I recall many a night as a cop spent on the side of the road with a bunch of cops butchering up fresh road kill.
Amazing how many guys carried knives and plastic bags in the trunk! I remember one cop who made the best burgers, sausage and stew...

Ever see an albino? As pure white as snow with pink eyes!
There was one old,old absolutely huge albino 16 point buck the size of a small horse who would routinely stand on the side of one road by a little creek at night. I could count on seeing him once or twice a month in that spot. Guess he finally died of old age or got hit as I didn't see him this year.